My First Production Trailer, Ep. 1: Biting the Bullet

Last year (2018) I worked on a couple of film projects for my brother. One was a guerilla-style, run-n-gun deal where I wore a stack of hats (Script Super, wardrobe, utility PA, etc.). The other one was an indie feature where I...ended up wearing another stack of hats (Script Super, wardrobe, crafty, etc.) Lessons were learned. #1 lesson: Script Supervisor is a full-time job. It is not humanly possible, in this current linear space-time dimension in which we dwell, to do anything but Scripty and do it right. And not lose your mind. #2 lesson: trying to do a feature film by working out of the back of an SUV or the trunk of a car is for the young and fit, and possibly insane.

When approached to work on another feature this year, one thing that the Producer and I agreed on was that we were never going to work out of our car, or as she put it "From under a tree somewhere", again.

 "I'll be in my trailer!" 

The great trailer hunt began last November, not long after we wrapped principal photography on Burn it All, the aforementioned indie. It's in post now, by the way, and looks like it's going to be pretty amazing, if I do say so myself. Hats off to my brother Brady, also of many hats, who has spent his adult life as a kind of one-man-band of film making and is actually quite good at it. Anyway, after much consideration I decided a toy hauler type trailer was what I would ultimately want to plunk down several grand on. Sturdy, roomy, and fairly modular, plus a nice big gate in the back to lower into another deck cum work space. Having spent time on some big sets back in the 90s, I know how handy the right kind of trailer can be. It's also very Hoplite-esque to have trailers on location that all open the same way (from the back) for ease of base camp organization.

I went to the usual places: Craigslist, Facebook Marketplace, Offer Up, etc. Big ticket stuff like trailers is a first for me, and I discovered some new scams, including the too-good-to-be-true price with a "Send me a deposit through this escrow service, usually eBay, and then pay me the rest when you come get the trailer in Idaho/Montana/Arizona" pitch. Um, no, I want to look at it first. "It's in storage." Can I see it? "I'm out of state right now." Uh huh. K thnx bye. The most popular scam seems to be the fairly typical, sadly, method of putting up an ad without full disclosure of issues. "Usual wear and tear" can be anything from UV hazing on the vent covers, faded decals, and stained carpeting, to full-on major damage that wasn't repaired until after rot set in, missing or non-functional generator, smoke and or pet smells, and Frankenstein-grade "improvements" too numerous to list. 

Not my exact model, but close enough to get the picture.

The long and the short of it is that, with the help of financing from Bank of Dad, I now have a 24' 2005 Tahoe Transport parked next to my garage. It fell in to the "too good to be true" category of non-disclosure of problems, but not to a degree that it triggered my Spidey Senses. I was willing to deal with some problems because 5k was a reasonable amount for a decent condition hauler of this type and size. It turned out, of course, to have more than just "the skin peeling up a bit in the front right corner". And the "that just happened while we towed it back from California" was a wee falsehood unless these guys are really unobservant. Yeah, there's some water damage (soft wall) in the lower front right corner, but no perceptible mold, and it's dry now. I left a $500 deposit, on advice from Dad, and told them I'd be back to pick it up the next day.

Spouse Gordon and Biker Dude friend Rick
survey new toy. Duct tape was to keep
things from flapping in the breeze on
the tow home.

Luckily, my friend Rick, an experienced toy hauler-er went with me to finish sealing the deal, because he discovered more issues that totally missed. It helps when you know what to look for. He's the one who discovered the soft wall..and also the external fueling station with the dysfunctional spigot, the missing propane tanks replaced with a little after-market/non-RV tank, the broken door lock, the excessive rust on the leveling jacks, etc. It's all stuff that can be fixed, but...yeah.

I'd already gotten the sellers down to $4,700 from $5,000, but the issues were starting to pile up, including the fact that they'd made no attempt to tidy up after living in it for a couple of months on a job in Bodega Bay (excessive rust explained: salt air). Moldy food in cupboard, dirty carpet. They'd told me they had ONLY slept in it but not used any of the appliances or the bathroom, but Rick did a quick control panel check and found the sewage tank 3/4 full.

Looking forward.

I had offered $4,500 the previous day but they said they'd already had several offers for that much, and we settled on $4,700. Now I went back to $4,500, and got "We already have an offer for that." First though: Now it's just "an" offer, singular? Second thought: Why didn't you take one of those offers, then?

Dave Ramsey says "Pay cash, and be prepared to walk away." I was prepared. I also had Rick's superpower of Biker Dude Hard Stare negotiating skills in my corner. They backed down to $4,200. I called for a conference with Rick. Conclusion: List of problems was getting too long. 4k or we walk. Production start date had been bumped out a couple of weeks, which gave me time to keep hunting even though we were getting down to the wire. Middle man sadly said no, and went to get my $500 deposit back. Then he came back with the paperwork and, "OK, 4k is fine."

Looking aft: ramp down.

I hate haggling, but dang if it didn't save me a chunk of change.

Now I need to find a hitch that will take sway bars, and install a brake-assist thingy in the Suburban, but...no more working under a tree! Now comes the fun part: turning it into my starter production trailer.