My First Production Trailer, Ep. 2: Pandora's Box

And lo, many ills were released, but also hope,
in the form of shiny new frames from cool neighbor.

It's been a week and a half since I took the leap and sprang for a "pre-owned" (2005) toy hauler. Might be a 2006. There's some disagreement in the paperwork. In the last chapter I outlined the rigamarole I went through negotiating the sale after discovering more damage than initially discovered. This chapter could be titled "Why people buy from a dealership, new or used".

It towed great with my friend Sarah's pickup. Definitely needs a solid rig to pull it. We have a Ford F350 dually that's going to fill the bill nicely after a few repairs, but that's another story. When we got it home and parked it in the back yard, the real inspection began. The first thing we found was that there was more than one leak in the front end. Not only was there damage down the front right corner, but the front left, where the ladder

Damage under ladder

attached to the roof, was even worse. Instead of lifting the skin and doing some minor repairs, we ended up removing the ladder and stripping the entire skin off the front end. Pretty much about 75% of the frames and a good portion of the inner skin were mush. That alone means I still paid more than I should have, but I doubt the guys in Tacoma would have gone lower. We ripped out the insulation batting over the sad areas, and friend Rick, who had some time, went to work ripping out the spongy frames.

Neighbor Marcel, who basically has an entire woodworking facility and machine shop in his garage, ripped me some nice cedar frames and cut a piece of steel to patch the bad corner of the roof where the ladder will be reattached. The weather has been cooperating, and the whole area is dry now, especially since we parked the trailer with the nose facing south. It's rained a bit on a couple of nights, but I just threw a tarp over the front end and that worked fine. Today I'll be pulling staples so Rick can finish the framing on Monday and stick in new insulation. Marcel suggested the pink rigid foam stuff, so I picked up a couple of sheets. The water damage seems to have only affected the nose of the rig, so that's a blessing.

Crumbling water heater is crumbly.

The second area of woe was the water heater. I don't think any of the previous owners had ever done a lick of maintenance on it. The zinc was down to a skewer, and the faceplate was rusted away at the bottom. I found one on Craigslist for $175 (they retail for over $300) from a guy parting out a trailer down in Belfair, and with a modicum of struggle we switched it out. A new anode/zinc was $18 from the RV parts place in Silverdale.

Third surprise was in the head. When we turned on the water pump the back of the toilet started spraying water. Looked like a bad gasket at the intake, which is fixable, but...I found almost the exact same model on Craigslist (again), new in box, from a guy right here in Kingston for $100 (they retail for around $135). I figured by the time I bought parts to fix the old one I'd be halfway to a bill, anyway, and the crusty unit in the head looks like it hasn't been cleaned in years so...bye.

Fuleing station box: wee bit precarious.

Fourth item on this list, and not a surprise since it was so obvious when we looked at the rig in Tacoma, is the fueling station. This is a nice feature on toy haulers: a gas tank with a hose and spigot for fueling your ATVs or whatever. The box that houses the hose and spigot is falling away from the frame, and the spigot is missing parts. Again: previous owners just didn't care, apparently. It's a project I can do easily, just not a #1 priority.

Shiny new frames almost done.

The rest is nickel and dime stuff: replace wobbly pedestal legs on the table with folding ones, remove dinette chairs, replace burnt-out light bulbs, fix the one broken window blind, clean and line drawers and shelves, and just a general overall cleaning. Found a couple of office chairs at Goodwill for two bucks a pop, and I've been collecting other little things to furnish the place over the past few months. Now I just have to make space in the garage to store the folding sofa, chairs, and extra queen bed. Or maybe I'll sell them...I don't know. Am I going to sell this trailer someday? Probably. If I sell it to another film industry worker they probably won't want that other stuff, either. I'll think about it.

The good news is the AC seems to work, the sound system functions, the generator fires right up, and there are no soft floor spots. I think we're on the way to a functional Props/Armorer/Scripty trailer.

My First Production Trailer, Ep. 1: Biting the Bullet

Last year (2018) I worked on a couple of film projects for my brother. One was a guerilla-style, run-n-gun deal where I wore a stack of hats (Script Super, wardrobe, utility PA, etc.). The other one was an indie feature where I...ended up wearing another stack of hats (Script Super, wardrobe, crafty, etc.) Lessons were learned. #1 lesson: Script Supervisor is a full-time job. It is not humanly possible, in this current linear space-time dimension in which we dwell, to do anything but Scripty and do it right. And not lose your mind. #2 lesson: trying to do a feature film by working out of the back of an SUV or the trunk of a car is for the young and fit, and possibly insane.

When approached to work on another feature this year, one thing that the Producer and I agreed on was that we were never going to work out of our car, or as she put it "From under a tree somewhere", again.

 "I'll be in my trailer!" 

The great trailer hunt began last November, not long after we wrapped principal photography on Burn it All, the aforementioned indie. It's in post now, by the way, and looks like it's going to be pretty amazing, if I do say so myself. Hats off to my brother Brady, also of many hats, who has spent his adult life as a kind of one-man-band of film making and is actually quite good at it. Anyway, after much consideration I decided a toy hauler type trailer was what I would ultimately want to plunk down several grand on. Sturdy, roomy, and fairly modular, plus a nice big gate in the back to lower into another deck cum work space. Having spent time on some big sets back in the 90s, I know how handy the right kind of trailer can be. It's also very Hoplite-esque to have trailers on location that all open the same way (from the back) for ease of base camp organization.

I went to the usual places: Craigslist, Facebook Marketplace, Offer Up, etc. Big ticket stuff like trailers is a first for me, and I discovered some new scams, including the too-good-to-be-true price with a "Send me a deposit through this escrow service, usually eBay, and then pay me the rest when you come get the trailer in Idaho/Montana/Arizona" pitch. Um, no, I want to look at it first. "It's in storage." Can I see it? "I'm out of state right now." Uh huh. K thnx bye. The most popular scam seems to be the fairly typical, sadly, method of putting up an ad without full disclosure of issues. "Usual wear and tear" can be anything from UV hazing on the vent covers, faded decals, and stained carpeting, to full-on major damage that wasn't repaired until after rot set in, missing or non-functional generator, smoke and or pet smells, and Frankenstein-grade "improvements" too numerous to list. 

Not my exact model, but close enough to get the picture.

The long and the short of it is that, with the help of financing from Bank of Dad, I now have a 24' 2005 Tahoe Transport parked next to my garage. It fell in to the "too good to be true" category of non-disclosure of problems, but not to a degree that it triggered my Spidey Senses. I was willing to deal with some problems because 5k was a reasonable amount for a decent condition hauler of this type and size. It turned out, of course, to have more than just "the skin peeling up a bit in the front right corner". And the "that just happened while we towed it back from California" was a wee falsehood unless these guys are really unobservant. Yeah, there's some water damage (soft wall) in the lower front right corner, but no perceptible mold, and it's dry now. I left a $500 deposit, on advice from Dad, and told them I'd be back to pick it up the next day.

Spouse Gordon and Biker Dude friend Rick
survey new toy. Duct tape was to keep
things from flapping in the breeze on
the tow home.

Luckily, my friend Rick, an experienced toy hauler-er went with me to finish sealing the deal, because he discovered more issues that totally missed. It helps when you know what to look for. He's the one who discovered the soft wall..and also the external fueling station with the dysfunctional spigot, the missing propane tanks replaced with a little after-market/non-RV tank, the broken door lock, the excessive rust on the leveling jacks, etc. It's all stuff that can be fixed, but...yeah.

I'd already gotten the sellers down to $4,700 from $5,000, but the issues were starting to pile up, including the fact that they'd made no attempt to tidy up after living in it for a couple of months on a job in Bodega Bay (excessive rust explained: salt air). Moldy food in cupboard, dirty carpet. They'd told me they had ONLY slept in it but not used any of the appliances or the bathroom, but Rick did a quick control panel check and found the sewage tank 3/4 full.

Looking forward.

I had offered $4,500 the previous day but they said they'd already had several offers for that much, and we settled on $4,700. Now I went back to $4,500, and got "We already have an offer for that." First though: Now it's just "an" offer, singular? Second thought: Why didn't you take one of those offers, then?

Dave Ramsey says "Pay cash, and be prepared to walk away." I was prepared. I also had Rick's superpower of Biker Dude Hard Stare negotiating skills in my corner. They backed down to $4,200. I called for a conference with Rick. Conclusion: List of problems was getting too long. 4k or we walk. Production start date had been bumped out a couple of weeks, which gave me time to keep hunting even though we were getting down to the wire. Middle man sadly said no, and went to get my $500 deposit back. Then he came back with the paperwork and, "OK, 4k is fine."

Looking aft: ramp down.

I hate haggling, but dang if it didn't save me a chunk of change.

Now I need to find a hitch that will take sway bars, and install a brake-assist thingy in the Suburban, but...no more working under a tree! Now comes the fun part: turning it into my starter production trailer.

Casting Notice of the Day: a couple of birds walk in to a mine...

There are many current misspellings bouncing around the 'net these days. There's the classic "alot" for "a lot" (see Hyperbole and a Half's adorable illustrated essay on that topic), the "there"/"they're"/"their" connundrum, and then things like "suposably" for "supposedly". For more crazy spellings you can always browse through the You Suck at Craigslist blog. Trust me, it's always good for a pained laugh.

Today's winner is yet another casting notice posted over at Performer's Callboard, a Yahoo Group through which I actually get an occasional job. It's sort of the shallow end of the casting pool, though, so there are at least one or two gems of grammaticide every week. Here's a sample of today's offerings, a call for a short:

[name of project] - Thriller

synopsis: Two college students venture into the mountains to find lost gold
hidden by a long dead relative. They run a fowl of menacing claim jumpers.

Looking for 2 females age 18-27 college type, normal height and weight.
3 males age 23-30 college type, athletic, brawny
First female - smart, energetic, full of life.
Second Female - conniving, mean spirited, villain.
First male - smart, kind spirited, humorous, strong.
Second male - villain, smart, strong, always smiling.
Third male - Villain, follower, grunt, side kick, henchman.

Please communicate if you are wanting to audition on one of the following
days in your responds....

I wonder what kind of "fowl" they are running? Is chicken smuggling rampant in the Pacific Northwest?  Of course in a bit of industry irony the Cascades Mountains could be standing in for New Zealand or the Czech Republic in this case. I'm also bemused by the use of "respond" as a noun. Is that some new kind of slang that the kids are using these days, like "my bad" (My bad what?) or "text" as a verb? Is it too stodgy to use "response", or is "responds" the new plural of "response" and they expect you to send multiple missives?  As the kids these days say; whatevs.

The rest of it is pretty typical, however I must give them full marks for actually sending out this notice more than 48 hours in advance, which seems to be the MO of alot (ha ha) of casting "directors". An extra point for giving the city of the location of the audition, too. You wouldn't think this would be a problem, but many casting people seem to think that the only work in the country is going on within 15 miles of their current location. Points off for it wanting to be a gritty thriller yet insisting on casting children in the leads. Two Barbies "menaced" by three Kens doesn't sound that compelling.

The Quest Begins

Journey Quest, the web series I worked on earlier this year, is live with the first two episodes! You can watch them on YouTube, or right on Journey-Quest.com

How does the Faire fair?

The Washington Renaissance Fantasy Faire will actually go on this year (yay!)...but it will be in far-away Buckley (boo!), so I don't see the Warhorse Guild participating this year. We never make book, anyway, and commuting that far would be more than the pocketbook can allow. That, plus "Lady Devon" is still recovering from her ghastly hospital stay last Fall, and not really in any condition to donn armor, pick up a Zoppe-weight lance, and charge down the tilt.

I had an attack of the sillies and made a little "what if we DID decide to do faire this year?" short, which I present here. Fans of the Richardson version of "Charge of the Light Brigade" will get the obscure "noddles/doodles" reference.

We still need your votes!

Go to the Klondike Bar video contest site and search for "dmcknew". Remember, every time you vote, you have a chance to win $25,000...and you increase our chance to win $100,000!

Klondike update

This just in re. the Klondike Bar contest, from the director:

Hello everyone!

We need your vote every day to stay up on top! We need to move up on the TOP rated video list, so far we are on the second page!!

I hope you all have sent a message to your friends and family to vote by now!

Sunday June 15, is the cutoff date for this judging period, we have a good chance of being chosen June 23! I have only seen one video that comes close to ours in quality (the old truck which is leading us by the way) it really does not show the product very much and is too long for a commercial.

Anyway, we need to give it our best shot, have your friends and family put some comments under the video as well!

One more thing, I have just uploaded the video to another category “Did you see that” (thumbnail of John on the train) so if they approve it tomorrow (Friday) it should be on top for “most recent video” through the weekend!! Make sure you vote for BOTH videos when going on the site and please let your friends and family know to vote for both as well.

NOTE: The more important one at this point is the one under the “Laugh” category (with Melissa waving) because it has the most votes right now. When anyone types in “EXPRESS” in the search function both videos will show up.

http://klondikecontest.com

Everyone really needs to get involved, lets win this thing!

Thank you for all your effort,

Dave

What would YOU do for a Klondike Bar?

How about voting on this little "commercial" that I worked on last week? Starring Gordon as "the miner"! All you have to do is sign up at the Klondike site, then vote for our "Klondike Express" entry in the contest.
I'm totally biased, but I think it's one of the best entries so far, so I have no qualms about begging for votes. I believe you can vote once a day, so help us pay down our mortgage win!