Thursday, April 24, 2008

Got teenagers? Get Teen Away!

Brought to you by alert researchers over at Rifftrax! Finally, a way to repel pesky teenagers! It's a device that emits a hypersonic tone only (mostly) audible to the bobby socks and hair grease set...or the gut muffin and saggy pants set, depending on how up to date you are. The down side is that I, at age 44, can hear it, too. How annoying is that? Well, the cat sitting in my lap wasn't too thrilled either (sorry, Beany), so I guess I won't be picking up this little number any time soon.

Ironically, for me anyway, this recalls a memory of visiting a hardware store in Bremerton with my family back when I myself was a pesky teenager. Something in that store, perhaps a prototypical "Mosquito Noise Teen Repeller", emitted a very irritating high-pitched electronic whine that just set my teeth on edge and triggered a headache. My parents, being the stoic, staid, unflappable (transplanted) Midwesterners that they are, didn't buy it. I guess they thought I was just being a surly teen and crabby about being in a hardware store. Excuse me? I love hardware....not as much as books or office supplies, but I can waste a lot of time in a hardware store (even more now that I'm a home-owner). No, this was yet another case in a string of instances in my childhood where I, the resident alien life form, was experiencing something that the locals couldn't understand and weren't going to take my word for. It was just this one store, too. I never ran into that sound anywhere else.

We also had a running battle at home over whether or not a running TV set constituted a nuisance to somebody trying to sleep twenty feet away, even with the sound turned down. It was for ME, so naturally the TV stayed on no matter how early I had to get up the next day. I wondered if I was psychotic somehow, but now it seems that I just had typically hyper-sensitive teen ears.

This astounding new application of sound technology vindicates me! At least I think it does. Sort of. Not that it really matters.

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