Today's winner is yet another casting notice posted over at Performer's Callboard, a Yahoo Group through which I actually get an occasional job. It's sort of the shallow end of the casting pool, though, so there are at least one or two gems of grammaticide every week. Here's a sample of today's offerings, a call for a short:
[name of project] - ThrillerI wonder what kind of "fowl" they are running? Is chicken smuggling rampant in the Pacific Northwest? Of course in a bit of industry irony the Cascades Mountains could be standing in for New Zealand or the Czech Republic in this case. I'm also bemused by the use of "respond" as a noun. Is that some new kind of slang that the kids are using these days, like "my bad" (My bad what?) or "text" as a verb? Is it too stodgy to use "response", or is "responds" the new plural of "response" and they expect you to send multiple missives? As the kids these days say; whatevs.
synopsis: Two college students venture into the mountains to find lost gold
hidden by a long dead relative. They run a fowl of menacing claim jumpers.
Looking for 2 females age 18-27 college type, normal height and weight.
3 males age 23-30 college type, athletic, brawny
First female - smart, energetic, full of life.
Second Female - conniving, mean spirited, villain.
First male - smart, kind spirited, humorous, strong.
Second male - villain, smart, strong, always smiling.
Third male - Villain, follower, grunt, side kick, henchman.
Please communicate if you are wanting to audition on one of the following
days in your responds....
The rest of it is pretty typical, however I must give them full marks for actually sending out this notice more than 48 hours in advance, which seems to be the MO of alot (ha ha) of casting "directors". An extra point for giving the city of the location of the audition, too. You wouldn't think this would be a problem, but many casting people seem to think that the only work in the country is going on within 15 miles of their current location. Points off for it wanting to be a gritty thriller yet insisting on casting children in the leads. Two Barbies "menaced" by three Kens doesn't sound that compelling.