"I'm dying, you know!"

It's true. That's not just a quote from Pearl Forrester in a host segment from Mystery Science Theater 3000 episode #703, "Deathstalker and the Warrior's From Hell", it's my life right now. Right on cue (a little theater pun, there), during the very last performance of "Bell, Book & Candle", last night, I could feel my throat swelling up and becoming painful, my sinuses swelling, and aches starting to climb from my feet through all my joints. As of now I am officially SICK thanks to some carrier of vile diseases whom I have encountered in the last week, thank you so much.

I have a tendency to hold myself together when life gets busy and stressful, then completely go to bits the minute it's over. Soooo, after months of ren faire and the aforementioned play...here we are: the infirmery.

To add insult to injury, I found several months ago that there are NO clips from the MST3k treatment of "Deathstalker" to be found anywhere on the internet, including the usually bountiful YouTube. I can only guess that the makers of this gem don't want their precious product being bandied about the web willy nilly with no fees changing hands. Did they systematically track down the nefarious "pirate" postings and demand their removal? If so, they just axed the only free marketing they'll ever get, because it's a BAD movie folks! The only watchable version IS the MST3k version, and I'd love to buy a nice commercial copy, but I'm guessing the rights expired and are not about to be renewed for the folks at Rhino home video. So I give you a lame screen cap of the bed-ridden Pearl, instead.

Do I feel better now. No! I feel like I've been waylaid in an alley by drunken press-gangers and beaten with a belaying pin over 90% of my body. To quote another fine screen villain, Dr. Smith, "The pain! The painnn!!!" Luckily, I have a big bottle of nighttime cold meds with my name on it, sweet oblivion, here I come...

PS For those who care, that's not all I'm doing. I'm also overdosing on Vit. C and zinc, so I expect improvement soon...I hope.