Friday, November 12, 2004


Since this is a public blog, I have tried to keep the postings about my personal life pretty low key. Today, I'm going to take a minute to wonder out loud about a situation that is acutely sad, disappointing, and monumentally frustrating to all parties involved, for various reasons. The principal player and impetus behind the tempest is somebody who was a very close, long-time friend of my husband. About 1 1/2 years ago it was discovered that this person had betrayed my husband, his ex-wife, and daughter in various and appallingly spectacular ways. This Svengali should have been banished from the pale never to be tolerated again. Instead, the young girl, under his manipulative control, forgave him his indiscretion (very kind if naive of her) and "threw herself entirely into his power" (to quote Jane Austen, who would have had a field day with this tale). (Wait...maybe this is more Grace Metalious' speed...) But I digress...

The details were pretty much kept within the family, mostly to protect the daughter. However, this gem of chivalry with whom she has chosen to share her life (currently) is a frequent, nay, constant, denizen of a certain web forum where the MO consists mainly of taunts and personal insults (now there's a high quality way to spend your days...not). Here we were, all tiptoeing around, keeping our family woes to ourselves in the interest of good manners, when all along the instigator was running his exploits up the virtual flagpole. Apparently Sven has made a habit of bragging about such things as his sexual conquests (true) and illustrious film career (heavily padded). He also seems to have a habit of posting using other people's names, something which I am in the process of verifying. To his apparent surprise, the other folks at this forum have grown weary of him, and seem to have begun a campaign designed to irritate him enough to get rid of him. Or maybe they're just a bunch of virtual picadores having a lark, which seems more likely.

After a couple of days of watching this flap unfold, I've come to the conclusion that Sven is no mere sociopath, but a virtual S&M junkie. The only reason he would possibly want to return again and again to that forum, spending many hours a day exchanging taunts and ducking virtual rocks, must be that he actually enjoys the abuse! Why else would he flaunt his indiscretion in such a cavalier manner? Did he expect to generate applause?

The person I worry about is the girl in his control, who (of course) doggedly defends his every move. She is (rightly) irate about this whole flap. Unfortunately, she needs to take a good hard look at the cause of it. Her friends and family are ready to "be there" for her when she decides she's had enough of life with Mr. Right Now, but she can figure that out for herself if she's as smart as we hope she is.


  1. Sometimes I'm ashamed to be a woman... Why are we so easily led around by jerks?

  2. P.S. I like it when you vent... It's HEALTHY!

  3. I feel bad for you all. No one deserves to be forever linked to Judas.


    He has been posting as G Frye the cavalry expert for sometime. RIGHT NOW- on FC someone is doing some MAD deleting- see he would have the moniker and the password that controls the moniker. So he can edit as he sees fit.

    The fact is he continues to betray your family on a large scale. He impersonates your husband. He lies to your daughter. And he defrauds the USA government using student loans to fund his lifestyle.

    I feel bad for your daughters. But, he is one sick individual . He has blamed FC and the like for his problems.

    Getyour daughter the help she needs.

  5. MovieWhore = SFO
    D/N/T Angry Mother in Law

  6. Amen squared. Thank you for standing up for my daughter!

  7. Speaking of naivite...

    You believe everything that these assholes say? James NEVER posted as my father. Someone on FC saw their names associated together on some website or another, and thought it would be funny to make it a moniker.

    I'm not under James' control, and you don't know anything about the situation, so I would appreciate it if you would keep your opinions about my relationship to yourself.

    And you're one to talk about betrayal. Please.

  8. Where did this "stalker" get our phone number? How would he know my nicknames? How would this "stalker" know anybody in our family had a divorce? The people sticking J on FC use versions of "MovieWhore.(add nasty name here)". Also: nothing anybody is saying on FC isn't true. Unkind, harsh, snotty, yes. Untrue: no. I stand by my assessment of J as a potential sociopath.

    This is not about past or present mistakes or sins, this is about what we do about them. J is dragging you through the mud in the name of, what, entertainment?

    Your friends and family care about you and would like to see you go somewhere in life. I used to think you were a go-getter, independent thinker, and world-beater who had more brains and guts.

    A lot of people are disgusted and angry with J. The same people are shaking their heads over you, and standing by for the day when you grow up, grow a spine (not just raised hackles), and get a life.

    You are loved. If people didn't love you they wouldn't take the time to respond to all of this nonsense.

  9. I'm sure the stalker looked up your phone number on the internet (you ARE listed). I don't know how he/she/it knew your nickname, but "it" seems to know a lot of personal info about us. I don't know how "it" got it either, unless this person knows one of us in real life. That could be.

    If you have anymore to say to me, or James, how about emailing us. Everything we say here is being posted on FC, and though I find it all highly amusing, we don't need to feed the fire anymore fuel.

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  11. Thanks, Anon, but who knows if that was really Alex posting or not. I have no doubt that there are those at FC who would love to stir this fire just to see the sparks.

  12. I'm a pretty bare knuckled FCer, but this is horrifying. I have to give you credit for withstanding this, its obvious that you despair about Alex's choices. There is hope, remember that, she just needs to get away from that evil asshole.

    Fuck him, I'm tempted to walk across the country and beat him to death. The pain he has caused at the temple of his ego is truly frightening.

    Strength to your entire family today and onward.

  13. This is california boi (former poster on FC)

    This Moviewhore situation has nauseated me to the point where I suicided my moniker. That is a pretty big deal, since I have racked up thousands of posts on FC, and it was the only place on the internet where I would carry on discussions with other oddballs.

    At any rate, moviewhore, if you read this, I suggest getting professional help. Think of me as the younger brother you never had. I think that deep down you are a decent guy but your stubborness is so profound it is a fault.

    I recommend (because I am thinking about that little baby of yours here) that you switch majors and study something that is going to bring you some bucks even if it is boring as hell. You have the fortune of looking fairly young for your age, and if you build yourself a skillset, you could get hired making a decent wage somewhere.

    The bottom line is that you are tearing a family apart from the inside out, and it is best that you heal the damage now by doing what is right, which is to think in economic terms. Either you get yourself a job now and dump school or you study a field that has a higher chance of giving you a return on your investment.

    Good luck, and put your kid first,

    Sean F.

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  15. MovieWhore, your degree is a worthless piece of toilet paper you got from an unaccredited school. This is actually fortunate for you. If it was a real degree, you wouldn't be enrolled as a freshman, and you wouldn't have a PELL grant.

    Your business obviously wasn't too successful or you wouldn't be spending all your time online pigfighting with everyone you come across. Even if you had some modest success - and you'll claim you did, even if it's not true - you obviously blew it at some point. More than likely, you were either abusing some substance or you had marital problems.

    Sean gave you good advice. If you were going to make it in the art world, you would have done sometime in the last 30 years. Grow up and take care of your kid. It's only a matter of time before you have to start making child support payments, you know.

    Here's some more.

    Leave Neb alone and the Frye family alone. You are not going to win. There is nothing you can say or do that will make anyone on FC ignore what you've done. No one likes you there any more, except for Willow, and he's the one that posted the link to Alex's pictures and put them on Imagedump and imagecup.

    Just let it go, and quit being a jerk. Grow up and take responsibilty for your actions instead of blaming everyone else and making excuses.

  16. Anon-

    Coward. Don't you want anyone to know who you are? You can't expect to be taken seriously if you are anon.

    As for leaving the Frye Family alone, we've moved 350 miles away. We want to be left alone, but Neb's being terribly unpleasant. Mind your own damn business.

  17. Alex, even if I told you who I am, you'd just claim I'm either Neb or Spanky. Frankly, I have no respect for you at all, and don't really care if you take me seriously or not. You just aren't important.

    Besides, Neb has asked the FCers not to be mean to you. For that reason, I will not tell you that I think that you're an obtuse child that's being manipulated by a dirty old man.

    Regardless of who I am, the facts are true. If you were the adult you would like people to think you are, you would concentrate on that, rather than if someone is "posting as a dot", as it were.

  18. Anon,

    Don't even pretend you know the "facts." I happen to be living my life, and you've only heard about it from outsiders. Stay out of it, because you don't know a thing, and I don't care who you are.

  19. BasilHazel,

    Do try to make up your mind. First you want to know who I am, then you don't care.

    I do know the facts. Everybody knows the facts. You and Svengali wrote about it in your journals, and I've been reading Svengali's posts on FC for YEARS. Yours too, for that matter. Don't tell your business if you don't want others to know it.

    By the way, it appears that your mother approves of Neb's actions regarding this situation. No matter what has happened between your mother and Neb in the past, she is mature enough to look past that and grasp the greater reality.

    Hopefully, one day you will grow up enough to do the same thing.

  20. Hi Nebbo,

    You rock! Have you thought about writing a fiction story around this? It is difficult to create such dysfunctional characters (esp. jumbo) and it is all laid out for you and your wonderful way with words.

    Take care,


  21. You'd be surprised at how many people advise writing about this. It's part of why I started my blog in the first place. But now that there's a baby involved, I'm trying to keep my opinions to myself as much as possible.

  22. I'm just stopping by to say that I am sorry.
    I never meant any of this crap to happen.

  23. What I fail to see here is a purpose for all this. Alex and James are adults. They have made several decisions, and they are reaping the benefits as well as trying to handle the consequences.

    Neb- You have no right to ever talk about ripping a family apart. You may pretend to be a concerned stepmother and loyal wife who is merely concerned with Alex's future happiness and Gordon's poor heart as he is losing his daughter to a person he once valued as a friend but you do not fool me. Maybe you could have thought about Alex or Catherine or Liz or Charlotte before you did what you did. You have no right to pass judgment. They have no reason to feel accountable to you. The disgust I have for you is overwhelming.

    Alex is not a victim and James is not a predator. They are simply people who have fallen in love. While it is difficult for me to see her having so many difficulties, nothing is more upsetting than your reactions. You cannot do anything about this situation any more than James or Alex can. I would have handled things differently, but I am not them. Are you really so arrogant that you believe you can live their lives better than they can? Would you want that for them? Alex and James have taken responsibility for their actions. While they still have hoped for support and help from the people that love them, they will ultimately sink or swim. Why do you so vocally seen to root for them to sink?

    You are a caddy and cruel bunch and not the loving family that you have always presented yourselves to be. What do you expect her to do? Of course she will not bring the baby to the house if you will not accept James as the father. Would you want your children being raised with their grandparents constantly cutting down their father? If you want Alex or baby James in your lives, you are going to need to drop this and accept that Alex will make her own decisions as the intelligent woman we know and had faith in before this. I know you are upset. I am, too. This is not what I would have planned for her, but just as I would not have others planning my life, I would not expect her to live by the dreams of other people.

    I am sorry for the harsh tone, as some of you are close to my heart.

  24. By the way, when I said I would have handled the situation differently, I meant I would have had an abortion. This is the only other logical solution I would think could work. Before you point your fingers at her, think of what her alternatives were and maybe you wouldn't be so damn smug with your comments and opinions. Of course, Alex believed that she had your support.

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  26. Though I've only met Alex once I must say she is a beautiful and caring person who does not deserve to be portrayed the way she has. No, I don't know specifics of this family drama but here is what I do know. Neb, as a woman of character and a child of Jesus I say to you "let HER without sin cast the first stone," can you do that, I didn't think so.

    Did you ever stop to think what the repercussions would be as you were whoring your way into a new family, and that Ma'am is exactly what you did. But to you, you were in love, and you followed your heart, so that made it all worth the pain and the shame. Is this not what Alex has done? Did you think that while you occupied her fathers bed, each time you slowly took a part away from his children, from his family. You of all people should accept and respect her for who she is and what she has done and not degrade her based on her choice of life partners.

    And to the family I say this. You of all people should have UNCONDITIONAL love and support for Alex, and thank each day that she is part of a loving relationship and that her child will always be surrounded by love. Give her the love and support she needs and make her once again feel welcome. And accept the fact that she herself is part of a family of her own. Your family has been broken once, place aside your fears, your hatred and do what you need to mend what you have left.


  27. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  28. You people have a lot of nerve calling Neb a hypocrite over ancient history, especially if Charlotte isn't going to. How else was Neb supposed to respond to the dozens of comments posted to her family's blogs by strangers warning them about James? Was she supposed to defend him? This was a quiet little circle of family journals, read by friends and the occasional random stranger, until someone brought it to FC's attention. Neb is absolutely on target.

    Contrary to popular belief, Neb and the rest of the family have nothing but love and concern for Alex. They love her unconditionally in spite of their feelings about James. They would welcome her with open arms if she came home, even if it was just for a visit. I ask you: if Neb is being the wicked stepmother to Alex, why is Alex's mother saying "Amen squared?"

    Alex: having been the scandal of my own family when I married ten years ago, I know it is possible that you are right, and that you and James will have a happy life together. But several people whose judgment I trust believe you are wrong, and not entirely without reason. I hope you are right.

    And to the rest of you: all the comments about Alex being "Hogatha" are dead wrong. You think she looks fat in the pictures you've seen? I took those photos myself at her baby shower when she was seven months pregnant. Before she was pregnant she was positively stunning. Give the girl a break.

    Alex has made her decision and is living her life. We have no right to hope that her prospective marriage will fail, or to gloat if it does. It's not entertainment and it's not funny. Just leave the whole family alone.

  29. Uhm, Alex's weight isn't really much of an issue. It's just something to poke fun at her about. People picked it as an easy target. At the request of Neb, I personally will not call her fat any more. I cannot speak for anyone else, of course.

    Frankly, her immaturity and lack of intelligence, and her inability to see the truth around her are much more important issues than whether or not she's fat. Her lack of gratitude to her family and the way she's blaming her stepmother for everything is ASTOUNDING.

    Even if Neb is the whore of babylon reincarnated, that doesn't make having an affair with a man that's 30 years older than you are a smart move. Even if Gordon Frye was channeling the spirit of Henry the Eighth, that doesn't make it right to have an illegitmate child with the daughter of the man who gave you a place to live.

    For a child that was raised in a family of historians and history buffs, she doesn't seem to understand the real value of knowing the past. Those who don't learn the lessons of history are bound to repeat them.

    I've got a question. MovieWhore (James), used to post quite a bit about working in a winery. This was going back a couple of years ago. He claimed he worked in the tasting room in some management capacity.

    While reading through your blogs, I noticed that Charlotte works in the wine industry. Am I correct in assuming that Charlotte was the one who got him that job? If so that just makes his betrayal of your family that much more profound.

  30. Tis passing strange that FC has spread to this blog.

  31. Okay. Gordon is a rat for what he did to my sister, and I've told him so to his face. But that's history now, and he's still part of the family in spite of the divorce. We're even friends again.

    The family is less than delighted with Alex's situation, but again, what is done is done. Alex is a beautiful young woman with a beautiful little baby, and the baby's father is part of the family whether he wants us or not. Or whether we'd have chosen him for Alex or not. James, you may be a rat, but you're our rat now. ;-) Just take good care of my niece and my great-nephew, which you seem to intend, and things should work out eventually.

    In the meantime, continued James-bashing/MoHo-flaming just provides entertainment for total strangers, and won't solve anything. --Alex's Aunt

  32. Gordon and I were out yesterday actually living our life (as has been suggested to us). After a long day playing with jousters I had a job* that didn’t let us get home until the wee hours, so this post has overflowed with comments that have gone unanswered until now. For me and mine, this flap ends today. It’s sucked enough energy and wasted enough time, and serves no constructive purpose. That being said, let me conclude by addressing the issues posted in the above comments, at A & J’s blogs, and a very few from FC:

    First, the comments here-

    1. James (2:49 PM): It has not, nor is currently, my ambition to “work my way in” to any family. As a matter of fact, I have gone out of my way to stay clear and not impose my presence, for obvious (to most people) reasons. I cannot “stay on FC” because I’ve already left. I only registered there on Saturday when I saw somebody was trolling using my identity. The sheer volume of misinformation needed to be addressed, I felt. I did so, said my piece in what? 5 entries? You, on the other hand, have been camped out there to the tune of nearly 29,000 plus posts for going on five years. Who has been “assimilated”? Doesn’t need a rocket scientist to answer that one.

    2. Alex (3:53 PM): “…we’ve moved 350 miles away. We want to be left alone,…Mind your own damn business.” As you wish.

    3. Potvaliant (5:29) Thanks for the compliment. As far as using the recent unpleasantness as the basis for a novel: forget it. Partly because it would mean dwelling on the situation but mostly because it’s too unbelievable.

    4. Liz (6:50): Pragmatic as usual. :-)

    5. Willow (7:13): Apology accepted, go in peace. Judging from the messages posted to FC, it seems that you may actually have warned J that linking to his photo page without a password might not be a good idea (considering the numbers of enemies he had generated at FC), and that his response was somewhat less than courteous. So, to further illustrate your point (so to speak), you made sure the page became common knowledge. That it was a testy thing to do is unquestionable. That J was surprised by the response demonstrates a great deal of incomprehension of human nature. I must say, after having been warned by A & J about the nasty trolls and evil stalkers at FC, I have been pleasantly surprised by the response to *my* intrusion there. So far, the only inflammatory responses I’ve received have come from the parties who sought to warn me/us. No, I don’t believe everything posted there or anywhere else. I do find it interesting that within hours of becoming involved, both the person who was trolling with my ID and Willow (the so-called instigator) both apologized in a very civil manner. It’s amazing how civil treatment seems to breed more civil behaviour…

    6. Anon (10:41): I have not accused anybody of “ripping a family apart”. As has been graciously and repeatedly pointed out, that would be beyond hypocritical. I am not “pretending to be a concerned stepmother and loyal wife”, as I am not in the habit of play-acting when not actually on a paid acting job. I am also not “passing judgment”, unless you refer to my judging that Alex has made one poor choice after another since I first met her years ago. Why would anybody feel it necessary to be “accountable” to me? That is certainly not my prerogative or desire.

    Am I arrogant? I hope not. Do I think I could “live their lives better than they can”? No. Why would I want to? I’ve already made plenty of my own mistakes, I don’t need to adopt the mistakes of anybody else. I believe that eight years ago, I had been the person I am now, things would have gone quite differently. I’d like to think I would have had the wisdom to see that my friendship with Alex’s dad was heading for trouble and removed myself. I’d like to believe that I would have removed myself far far away, and encouraged Gordon and his then wife to get immediate counseling. Of course, I had never met his wife, and wasn't in a position then to know both sides of the story. Knowing what I know now, it’s pretty clear that the main problem in that marriage was not lack of love, but problems communicating it. They were trying to tell each other that they were loved, but just in languages the other person couldn’t understand (clumsy sentence, sorry). I made incorrect assumptions and acted upon them, which is not an excuse but an explanation. But I digress…

    By “caddy” I assume you meant “catty”. You also seem to think that I desperately want Alex and the baby in my life. It would be swell, but I don’t lie awake at night worrying about it. I’ve told Gordon any number of times over the years that of all the people in his family, Alex is the person I would most prefer being stuck in an elevator with. That assessment holds, because she is witty, funny, and not given to panic. That assessment has held over the years, even through the times when I wanted to give her a piece of my mind over the anguish she has given her parents over and over with one bone-headed stunt after another, each one more appalling than the one before. I never said anything because it wasn’t my place or my problem. With the “identity theft” at FC and the wave of speculation and lies, I felt it necessary to speak. Alex chose to involve herself in my refutation of J’s rock-throwing session, I did not seek her out.

    Alex will indeed make her own decisions, as she has done in a most colorful way as long as I’ve known her (and all of her life up to that point, according to her dad).

    As for, “some of you are close to my heart”; this and other phrases in this comment seems to imply that you are close to at least somebody in the “friends and/or family” contingent. If so, why have you chosen to post anonymously? I’m curious as to who you really are.

    Anon (11:12) (apparently same as above)(this post was repeated, I assume by accident, and so I deleted the duplicate): I’m sorry you feel abortion was her only alternative. I’m glad my birth mother didn’t feel as you do. As far as “Alex believ(ing) that she had your support”, I would refer you to her comments on this blog, her own, and FC where she has made it abundantly clear that she has hated me for years. This would lead me to believe that all of the pleasant encounters we’ve ever had have been excellent examples of the aforementioned “play-acting”.

    Keyana (11:20)(posting as “anonymous”): You admit you’ve only met her once. I’ve know her for years and have been gravely mistaken about her any number of times, that said, Alex IS a beautiful and caring person, generally speaking, and, no, she does not deserve to be portrayed the way she has. Kindly direct this advice to the person who has dragged her through the cyber mud for the past three years over at FC. Perhaps that would be the “first stone” to which you refer. At any rate, I have never made claims of moral perfection, sinlessness, or an error-free life. Thank God for his grace, without which we would all be “screwed”, to use the common vernacular. Did my falling in with Alex’s father and “following my heart” make it “all worth the pain and shame”? I don’t think so. By the way, you seem to imply that you possess a great deal of personal knowledge about that situation. Again, I remain curious as to your identity, because the differences between these situations are many and varied. Nothing excuses the behaviour of any of the players, this rebuttal is only by way of clarification.

    While I, her father, and various others, have come to realize that we have no choice but to “accept” her for “who she is”, Alex has done little to earn any “respect”. Rather than look at the foibles of her elders and learn from our stupid mistakes, she has chosen to make those very same poor choices her own and take them to levels nobody could have predicted. I’m not sure how this is meant to garner respect.

    We do love her, and while I cannot respect her I do respect her wish to make her own way free of the ravages of common sense or the encumbrances of advice from those further along life’s paths.

    Lisa (4:56): Thanks much. Yes, the kid is loved. This is obvious to all but two people on the planet, apparently. Be careful of defending her, though. Get your asbestos undies on.

    Anon (9:20) (FC person?): Thanks for the offer to lay off Alex. Yeah, you would think somebody raised by a historian would see the value of learning from past mistakes, wouldn’t you? Re. the winery job: you and others at FC have divined correctly.

    Alex’s Aunt (1:43): Thanks for your honesty, it really is appreciated. Gordon has also told me about the various scenarios of assistance your other sister has offered to Alex, which has done nothing but elevate my opinion of you all. It’s a real shame that A & J have chosen to remove themselves so far from your sister and her mom, because there is so much that they could be helping her with and sharing with her.

    Now, as for the blog entries (since it has been requested that I keep my opinions to myself, I will comment here rather than there)-

    Alex (Sat, Nov 13): I’m sorry it has taken this long for you to realize that when somebody says “we’re not happy about your choices” it means they’re not happy about your choices. I wasn’t “pretending to defend” you. It was no pretense that I was actually trying to deflect some of the childish and ill-informed taunts aimed at you at FC. When I did so, I had no idea that you ever went there or had ever posted. Now that I see what level you choose to operate on there, I can see that I was truly wasting my time. As for my relationship with your father: there is no excuse, so I won’t offer one. What’s yours? As already stated, our situation is not news nor has it been any kind of secret, and NEVER was. The important thing is what we have done about it.

    Not that anybody has gone out of their way to interfere with your life, but at your request we’ll be happy to “stay out of it”. On the other hand, you seem preoccupied with “getting back” at people. I would let that go. It’s not healthy.

    Also, regarding this recent post of yours on FC: “Yeah, right, no loans. Now I KNOW you didn't really go to college.” Where did you get this bizarre notion that getting through college on loans is the norm? I certainly never took out a loan, and neither did your mom or dad. Lots of people do get loans, but it’s certainly not a given.

    James (Sat, Nov 13): No, I do not think any posters at FC are my “friends and confidants”. I don’t know any of these people personally, and am not in the habit of considering pals on the net, especially newly met ones, as intimates. This “dubious fame” that I am supposedly “enjoying” is open to interpretation. All I see is a few hours of jocular kudos on a very popular web forum, which is far from adequate compensation for a pretty much wasted day. Is this supposed to be important in the large scheme of things? FC, like so many forums, gives back what you put into it. Garbage in, garbage out. It’s too bad you’ve stirred up so much ire there. Having done so, most people would have moved on long ago: why do you keep going back for more abuse? By and large, FC seems like a sort of cyber monkey house, with certain juvenile denizens preoccupied with beating their chests and hurling handfuls of excrement at one another. You can keep it. I checked in for one day to straighten a few things out and haven’t logged back in since. There are some good folks there (I think some of them have been labeled “trolls” by you). They have had a good laugh and seem pretty receptive to truth and civility. You might try that approach. Since you insist on laying blame for the current hoo-hah at my door, I must offer this quote from a post, directed at you recently, explaining the current flap: “What goes around comes around, Dude. You've been much too arrogant and rude to people here, and they jumped at the chance to get back. Karma's a bitch, and that bitch is riding YOUR ass right now.”

    Lastly, regarding another continuing bit of misinformation on FC: MovieWh*** is not nor ever has been Alex’s sister’s godfather. Only he can explain why he felt it necessary to write that. Also, somebody made a comment on Saturday saying “the whole family's suckin off the government tit.” Where did THAT come from? Nobody else is on welfare, Medi-Cal, or anything else. For that matter, neither I nor my husband have EVER been on unemployment, welfare, food stamps, etc. That was just a bizarre comment, IMO.

    Done and done. Time to move on, folks, nothing more to see here…

    *For those unclear on the concept, a “job” is the thing where you offer goods or services in exchange for money with which you buy groceries, pay bills, etc.

  33. Correction: In the above comment, in the first response to the comments posted above on Sat, 11-20, I said that I had registered at FC on Saturday. It was really Friday...time seems to have been compressed over the last couple of days for some reason.

  34. Wow. There are a lot of folks posting here who need to go to Internet 101 classes.

    There are 2 issues here. 1. James and Alex and the family, and you can sort that out yourselves, or not. You'd beter at least try, as there is a child involved and screwing up the family over an internet message board is pertty unfair to him.

    2. The internet is FULL of places like FC. It is something only an anonymous place like the net could spawn - a lot of people who can remian more or less anonymous, blowing off steam. Who people are on FC means NOTHING in real life. I am often a vile, rude, aggressive asshole of FC, whereas in real life I am a director of a successful company, with a wife and a daughter not much older than J & A's son. IMy family would probably describe me as mild mannered.

    Do you see? You have a bunch of normal people (you) being prodded into this absurd situation by a bunch of other normal people. The only diference is that none of the FC people are required to show the slightest restraint.

    Now, stop worrying about all this, and sort your lives out.

  35. Firstly, I believe there are more than two issues here, and the rest of us seem to have sorted them out and decided how we're going to move on with our lives.

    Yes, the internet is full of places like FC. Forums and chatrooms full of socially underdeveloped individuals trolling and flaming and posing as something they are not, with a few people actually trying to cruise the internet highway thrown in for good measure. I agree that "who people are on FC means NOTHING in real life". However, when real people are dragged in to such a situation, without consent, by having their real names used/trolled/leaked whatever, along with other identifying information, then we have moved into a different category. And DO NOT repeat the excuse that "anybody can find information about you": how would they know to look for me in the first place? How would they connect my nickname with my legal name since I never associate them on the web? WHY would they even expend the energy to do so unless provoked beyond all reason?

    As for your last comment, I advise you to take the time to notice that I/we HAVE stopped worrying about "all this" and have sorted things out pretty much to the satisfaction of all but apparently two individuals.

    Now, since every other person from FC who has commented on this mess has been mature enough to identify themselves, I can only advise, as per my request above in the comment of Sun, Nov 21, 5:00 PM, just let it go, MW.

  36. Hmm. No, I'm not MW, I think he's a big jerk too, but for other reasons, or at least earlier reasons.

    To be honest I'm just seeing a mountain being made from a molehill - thats not to say what various people have done in real life is not significant, but you guys have to sort that out yourselves. That has nothing to do with me.

    I can tell you for sure FC won't do that for you, all it will do is make things worse. FC, and other mesage boards, specialize in this kind of trainwreck. Some of the folks there are seriouly smart cookies, as well as being socially inadequates - mix that with anonymity and it's a potent brew for trouble. Don't get sucked in.

    Seriously - forget what has happened recently - it is a tangled mess and you will NEVER work out who said what to whom. Deal with real issues. Deal with your families, not us assholes. Protect the child.

  37. Correction: In my last comment I dated my previous comment "Nov 21" should have been Nov 13. I seem to be having trouble with space/time.

    James: how can I be "sucked in" to something I'm not "in" at ALL? I said my piece on FC on Friday, and made one correction on Sunday. That is the sum total of my active participation there.

  38. Your whole family is getting sucked in. But then some families like this kind of drama.

    It's just a bit of a shame that you're all letting a bunch of strangers (by your own opinion socially inedequate strangers) cause a big bustup.

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  40. Pot. Kettle. Black.

    Do you think that sexing up the underaged daughter of a family who has helped you out in a time of need is not duplicitous? Give it a rest, you jagoff.

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  42. Rationalize much? Your behaviour and actions can be mildly referred to as scandalous. You are acting like you are a teenager. Here is a small clue for you: You aren't. You are a 50 year old man and you chose to abuse those that showed you kindness. Grow up and get a job, loser.