Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Nummymuffincoocolsweater

I must have this sweater. In a "large", of course (the model shown is for a wittle bebbee). Sarah over at SewGeeky is a knitting goddess and deserves special praise for this pop art confection.

On another note, the aforementioned "headache" situation has taken a turn for the surreal. My husband, who is more personally involved than I, has had some very bizarre communications from somebody whom he wishes would remain firmly in the past. Joel and the 'bots of Mystery Science Theater 3000 fame did a wacky fun spoof/PSA about the joys of alcoholism several years ago (#402 - The Giant Gila Monster), and one of the segments was "the guy who gets blind drunk and calls you in the middle of the night to tell you 'what a great friend you are, man. Like, you're the greatest...you are sooooo cool. I love ya', man....' etc.". Now, just imagine that this lampshade chapeau person, say (the following is hypothetical), wrecked your brand new Lagonda ten years ago, and ran over your dog and took out the corner of your house while he was at it. And not only never paid for the damage but never apologized...and is now coming over all chummy and nostalgic. How do you say to this person, "I miss our friendship, but it's gone, and just wanting it back isn't going to make it magically happen."

Burn me once, shame on you. Burn me twice, shame on me.

Needless to say, there have been some raised eyebrows around here. I think it's possible to wish somebody well and yet not want them in your life, especially if "welcoming back" would imply absolution from all past infractions when no attempts at restitution or reconciliation have been forthcoming. Nowhere is it written that we have to be doormats in order to be compassionate.

15 comments:

James said...
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James said...
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Neb said...

I'm all astonishment! When and what were these "attempts to reconcile"? Also, after going to some pains to word my blog entries so that parties (other than myself and my husband) are not named and could not be identified by an unwitting public, you blithely turn the spotlight on yourself. Not only that, but I think it's rather unsporting to disable comments on your blog (not that I have any inclination leave comments there) and then leave comments on other folks' blogs. Folks to whom you have said, "Butt out" more than once.

James said...
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James said...
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Neb said...

Disingenuous? I mean what I say. It’s not rocket science. You can misconstrue my intent as much as you like. Parse my sentences: “sporting” refers to the double standard of “no comments on my blog…but comments everywhere else” policy, NOT the content of the comments. I have NEVER posted comments, polite or vindictive, on your blog.

Why would I email you, message you, or phone you? Firstly, I have removed all of your contact info from my address books, YIM, etc.., and secondly, you have repeatedly expressed a wish that I remain as far away from you and your affairs as possible, and I don’t have a problem with honoring that.

The question that remains to be answered is this issue of “attempts to reconcile”. Are you misinterpreting Gordon’s polite responses to your YIM communications and emails as an indication that “the past is the past” and “it’s time to start over”? You are indeed forgiven, but as you have made no apologies or attempts to “mend fences” (as you put it), we’re (and by “we” I mean Gordon and myself, I do NOT speak for anybody else in his family) have no inclination to welcome you into our lives. We do not hate you! What you choose to do with your life and your time is your business, and I really can’t identify this “pressure from the family” to which you keep referring. “A” is her own person, does things her way, and does not really want advice, so none is offered. To be honest, she has asked to be left alone and so we stay out of her business. Often we’re the last to know what’s going on in her life. If by “pressure” you mean an open door offer of assistance if she ever decides she wants it (as has been offered by various friends and relations), then this does indeed exist.

As far as “posting for the masses” goes. Well, I suppose the ten or so odd friends and acquaintances who check out my blatherings on occasion could be interpreted as “masses”. Since I don’t have this thing password protected, anybody can read it. Do I care? No. Do I post here to get the attention of people I don’t know? No. Do I post here to share my life with friends and family? Yes. What you think about it doesn’t really signify, and if you’d prefer that I don’t talk about you, then don’t put yourself in a position to be noticed.

James said...
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Friend From FC said...
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Neb said...

FC Friend: Just so you know, I'm not the only one who peeks at FC occasionally. Frankly, it's one of the only ways I or my husband get news (if you want to call it that) that affects his daughter. We don't really concern ourselves with any shenanigans that go on between parties at FC, and that includes MW, excepting as it affects "A", and, really, at this point it only affects her in the most tangential and tenuous way (as some have already guessed).

Anyway, we're "in the loop" as much as anybody can possibly be. Just FYI. :-)

Friend From FC said...
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Neb said...

Nuts, isn't it? We live a long, long way from Eureka, but there's no reason why she can't make a go of it much nearer to her mom, sisters, aunts, etc. I suspect it's a matter of transfering school credit/financial aid/grants whatever, but a good college counselor can help her with that.

Willow said...
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Neb said...

OK. While I appreciate informational and helpful (at least I assume that is what they are intended to be) comments on this blog, I really don't appreciate the rough language. Let's keep it G or PG, please. Thank you. Feel free to re-post, but I'm going to delete comments with gnarly verbage.

Neb said...

Oh, and please don't post URLs or links to FC, ok? I don't want my nieces or anybody else with an unspoiled mind wandering into that cesspit. Email instead.

Neb said...

Oh, and PPS: Since I suspect MW cruises through this blog looking for hints as to my "constant interference" in his life, I'd like to mention that, for the record, I have far better things to do with my time. I haven't spoken to him (other than to answer jibes and accusations posted here) in over two years. I haven't spoken to "A" AT ALL since her big sister's wedding last June. The only person in this household who talks to her is her Dad, and he doesn't try to tell her what to do, either. MW lives two states and many driving hours away. Unless I have some super psychic telekinetic powers of which I am unaware, I don't see how I can be interfering with or influencing their lives in any way.

Will this end speculation? Probably not, but there it is.